Wednesday, February 10, 2010
2:12 AM
I can hardly remember the last time it was this difficult to make a decision. I never expected it to be this hard to choose which subjects to retake for my June AS. My day today is all about facing this major dilemma: to retake or not to retake. For Physics and Biology, mainly. I remember being told that taking AS exams in the first year will reduce our burden in our second year. It's hardly the case.
If you ask me, I'd say I'm an indecisive person. One second I could be very sure of my decision, and the next second it could take a complete 360° turn under the influence of someone else. One tutor wants me to aim for the best result in the world, the other wants me to spend my time concentrating on A2 instead. I appreciate their concern for my grades and future, and their trust and confidence in me, but like what Teng told me, no one knows what is best for me other than myself. I was and will be the one sitting for the exams, so I have to make the choice on my own. It was like making the decision of a lifetime.
As much as I hate to admit it, but truthfully, I was blinded by my laziness throughout the process of decision-making. The thought of reliving that period of torment and torture, that period of drilling and cramming, makes me cringe. Who would want to swallow a year's worth of information all over again? Then what's the point of taking the exams last year?
But I THINK I have seen the light. I've decided to retake all of them, except Maths. Why emphasize on 'think' - because I cannot guarantee as yet whether that light will disappear tomorrow, throwing me back into the darkness again. I had a lot of guidance and advice from Fu, so I have to thank him. The truth is, I know I didn't put in my best effort last year, and I know that I can do better. I didn't expect myself to get straight A's, and if your results isn't what you expected, then it shouldn't be true. The feeling when I saw the straight A's was different from what I felt when I received my O Level results. For my O Level results, I had that sense of assurance. You need to understand why you got a certain grade. If it doesn't make sense, then it shouldn't be.
I know it's a long shot. Why waste money, time and energy right? But I know I've got nothing to lose. If all ends horrible, I will use the grades I have from 2009. Moreover I think revising everything again might be useful for our A2 exams.
My biggest mission now is again, time management. It's time to set our priorities straight. The Chinese New Year is a second chance for whoever has already strayed far away from their new year resolutions to make it up. It's not too late!
I hope my post today has also shed light and fire you guys up with motivation to study hard. All the best to you! Just one more year!
PS. Our dog "Ah Wong" died two days ago. We're not really close, but I have already gotten used to seeing him everyday after school. Now I feel that the house has lost some of its life, and looking at all the empty dog cages makes me miss our dogs... R.I.P. Ah Wong. I miss you :(

